Continuing with the annoyance thing: kids whine. Hell, people in generally whine but kids are like virtuosos. Certainly not all children are continuously complaining. Some have been taught not to or naturally know to only do it occasionally. But, in general, kids whine.
When Kid came to stay with us, he was King Whinington of Whineland. Two out of every three sentences he spoke were said in that high pitched, slow "but Mom, I don't waaannaaa" voice, whimpering about something. He complained about anything & everything. There was no time for thought, it was automatic. He instinctively whined.
Fortunately, he doesn't grumble nearly as much as he did. Why not? Well, that's simple: it doesn't work on us. We don't give in to it. An example: after a short camping trip, while unpacking, his pillow fell on the ground & got wet. He picked it up and starting crying. Seriously, the smooshed up, "I'm going to bawl" face that toddlers make. So I said (and this is verbatim) "it's not the end of the world. I'll dry it, use a different pillow tonight". Instantly, the tears & cry-face vanished, he picked up a different pillow & went to bed. He's learned that the whimpering doesn't do anything so he's quit doing it (for the most part). Another example: Husband was going to take Kid to help him to some light carpentry. Kid immediately complained. I said "you get to play with power tools. I wish I could go". Whiny face gone, excitement ensued.
This tells me that when he's at home, whining works. He wouldn't do it if it didn't benefit him. In fact, Kid told us as much. He was talking about something or other that he wanted and said, unprompted, that he could get it from his grandpa by asking "like this" and gave us a demonstration of his pouty, whining plea. So, obviously, this is something practiced that he knows will get him his way. The Kid knows how to get what he wants, does it, it works... that reinforces the idea in his head & he will keep on doing it.
It took relatively little time & effort for us to cut the whining to a minimum. It wasn't that hard. Kid saw that we weren't having it & quit. Sure, he still bitches sometimes. But it's normal to hear a gripe now & then when you tell a child to go to bed or do the dishes. That's not unusual. But, when it happens All. Day. Long. for every little thing... then it's a problem.
It's going to be a very hard lesson for him when he gets out in the big boy world & no one wants to hear him whine. He can't walk into a business & gripe like a baby until they give him a job. Pouting doesn't get you a raise. He's in for a very rude awakening... and that's not his fault. It is his Mother's (and obviously his grandfather's too) fault.
If the Mom would just be strong & say "too bad, this is what we're eating" or "I'm watching this show right now, you can watch something later", the whining would diminish greatly. Cut that whine off at the pass! Teach the Kid that life isn't always easy and you don't get what you want all the time. It's a valuable lesson that most people learn early.
Sure, it might be hard to say "no" now but it will benefit the Kid in the long run. You are the parent. You have to prepare your child for the real world where whining gets you nowhere.
When Kid came to stay with us, he was King Whinington of Whineland. Two out of every three sentences he spoke were said in that high pitched, slow "but Mom, I don't waaannaaa" voice, whimpering about something. He complained about anything & everything. There was no time for thought, it was automatic. He instinctively whined.
Fortunately, he doesn't grumble nearly as much as he did. Why not? Well, that's simple: it doesn't work on us. We don't give in to it. An example: after a short camping trip, while unpacking, his pillow fell on the ground & got wet. He picked it up and starting crying. Seriously, the smooshed up, "I'm going to bawl" face that toddlers make. So I said (and this is verbatim) "it's not the end of the world. I'll dry it, use a different pillow tonight". Instantly, the tears & cry-face vanished, he picked up a different pillow & went to bed. He's learned that the whimpering doesn't do anything so he's quit doing it (for the most part). Another example: Husband was going to take Kid to help him to some light carpentry. Kid immediately complained. I said "you get to play with power tools. I wish I could go". Whiny face gone, excitement ensued.
This tells me that when he's at home, whining works. He wouldn't do it if it didn't benefit him. In fact, Kid told us as much. He was talking about something or other that he wanted and said, unprompted, that he could get it from his grandpa by asking "like this" and gave us a demonstration of his pouty, whining plea. So, obviously, this is something practiced that he knows will get him his way. The Kid knows how to get what he wants, does it, it works... that reinforces the idea in his head & he will keep on doing it.
It took relatively little time & effort for us to cut the whining to a minimum. It wasn't that hard. Kid saw that we weren't having it & quit. Sure, he still bitches sometimes. But it's normal to hear a gripe now & then when you tell a child to go to bed or do the dishes. That's not unusual. But, when it happens All. Day. Long. for every little thing... then it's a problem.
It's going to be a very hard lesson for him when he gets out in the big boy world & no one wants to hear him whine. He can't walk into a business & gripe like a baby until they give him a job. Pouting doesn't get you a raise. He's in for a very rude awakening... and that's not his fault. It is his Mother's (and obviously his grandfather's too) fault.
If the Mom would just be strong & say "too bad, this is what we're eating" or "I'm watching this show right now, you can watch something later", the whining would diminish greatly. Cut that whine off at the pass! Teach the Kid that life isn't always easy and you don't get what you want all the time. It's a valuable lesson that most people learn early.
Sure, it might be hard to say "no" now but it will benefit the Kid in the long run. You are the parent. You have to prepare your child for the real world where whining gets you nowhere.
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